Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
