I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
