Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
