Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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