Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
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