He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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