At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Randomize
