she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize
