Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
