You really coming over, don't trick.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
