Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
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