Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
