everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
two words: eviction party
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
