At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
