I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
