I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
