I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
