It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
