During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
