stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
