why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
