At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Blow job season was short but glorious.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize