We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I wish i was in the wii world.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
