Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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