oh fat girl friday strikes again...
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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