I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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