come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Randomize
