the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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