i barfeds in our rink
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
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