i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
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