hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
