I need help removing her.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
