the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
