Grow some girl-balls and come out already
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
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