Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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