Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
We were destined to go to rehab together
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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