I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
