From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
