Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
