I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
