for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
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