that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
