Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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