Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
