can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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