You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
True but thats because hes a fetus.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
