Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
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