i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I CAN MOONWALK!
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
