I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
