it's not cheating when I paid for it
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
