My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I touched a dick in church today
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